This Is What You Need To Hear Right Now: Dating Isn't As Personal As It Feels
When we polled you all on Instagram, 95% of you said that you have taken dating personally. Ninety Five Percent! Whoever is in that other 5%, we commend your confidence!
So you can see that it's a completely normal and natural response when dating situations or relationships don't work out. It's all too easy to go to a place of "What's wrong with me?" or "Am I not attractive enough, successful enough, or just enough?"
But this doesn't mean that it's healthy to go here. Or even true! The reality is that more often than not, it's not about you. We had a very popular Instagram post that shared just this (give us a follow if you haven't yet)
One of the reasons dating is so challenging is that we tie so much of our self-worth to it. It's what we call the Validation Trap: when dating becomes more about proving your worth than finding the right person. It's what makes dating so hard – and painful – if we let this trap get in our way. Releasing this is the ultimate game-changer when it comes to dating.
So remember that even though our instinct is to take things personally, we need to give ourselves more self-compassion. It could just be the timing, the other person's hangups or fears, or something that just makes you two not compatible. Rejection is just redirection. And it does not indicate your worth or dateability.
❤️ Forward to a friend that also needs to hear this as well.
What We're Up To This Week
🎧 New Episode Alert! The Validation Trap
We're going a lot deeper into how validation impacts us when dating. And how to release the pressure that causes it in the first place. So you can start taking dating less personally, and enjoy the process a lot more. This shift was SO instrumental for both of us – and we hope it can be for you too.
🦃 Make sure to stay tuned for our special edition #brunchtalk where we talk about the upcoming holidays + how to navigate all those dreaded questions that seem to come with the turkey and mashed potatoes.
☀️Julie and Yue are getting ready for their weekend retreat in the OC to think about what's next for Dateable and have some fun!
Yue recording the audiobook in Santa Monica!
Your Deal of the Week:
With our upcoming video shoot and podcast recordings, Yue's been using all her makeup brushes from Anisa Beauty. Because while the makeup and skincare products we use are important, it's actually about the brushes and how you apply them. Get 30% off site-wide with the code DATEABLE.
Julie's really diving into her holiday shopping with Uncommon Goods. She has narrowed down a few gifts for her family and a white elephant party with friends. Get 15% with the code DATEABLE.
We can't believe Thanksgiving is right around the corner! We're so grateful for all of you and your continued support. We would not still be doing this podcast (and releasing A BOOK!) if it wasn't for you.
We're excited to keep the Dateable mission going strong! If you haven't yet:
- Pre-order the book: https://www.dateablepodcast.com/book
- Claim all your FREE goodies that you can access now!
- Let us know what you think (we love all the emails, posts in the Facebook group, Instagram DM's, and even reviews mentioning that you pre-ordered and are excited about the book!)
- Share with a friend who also needs this (so they can pre-order and benefit from these free resources now too!)
Thank you in advance for your support!
Have a great week, all! And remember to stayyyy Dateable.
XOXO,
Julie & Yue
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