❤️ Trusting Yourself More In Dating | The Dateable Dish

There's a special spring sale on our AI Powered Dating Coach aka"Yulie" as we like to call her. Want to talk to a human? Julie has opened her calendar for May with a few more time slots than last month. 

Hello Dateables, 

We did an episode a couple weeks ago around Regaining Self-Trust in dating that we wanted to reflect further on as this has been coming up a lot as we talk to listeners and guests of the pod. In a world full of opinions, algorithms, and endless advice, learning to trust yourself – and the process of dating – has never been harder. 

But we believe this is such an imperative skill in dating right now (and heck, relationships too!). It doesn't mean that you never hear another perspective again, clearly there is immense value of talking things through with a therapist or dating + relationship coach (even an AI Powered one!) But part of that coaching needs to be developing your own self-trust so you have an inner compass to go to, knowing yourself so well that you intutitively know what is good for you – whether that's leaving a situation or doubling down on a relationship. So how do trust yourself more when dating? Especially if you've had a lot of questionable experiences in the process... 

1. Catch where you override yourself

Pay attention to moments like:

• You felt something was off… but stayed
• You said yes… but meant no
• You gave “one more chance”… again

Self-trust starts with noticing the gap.

2. Stop asking "what does this mean"?
Instead ask: "how did this feel?" Did you feel calm or anxious? Seen or confused? Secure or unsure?

Your feelings are data. Use them.

3. Follow through (this is the hard part)

Make one promise and keep it! For instance if they cancel again, vow to be done. Or it could even be something broader such as "I won't engage in what feels bad." Self-trust isn't built by thinking; it's built by acting. 

4. Go to the source, not the sidelines

Instead of “What do you think they meant?," ask them directly:

• “Hey, are we still on for tonight?”
• “What are you looking for right now?”
• “I’m feeling a little confused—can we clarify?”

Clarity builds self-trust faster than overthinking ever will.

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It's near impossible to trust others fully if you don't trust yourself. 

You may have noticed we don't love hard fast rules over at Dateable. We love to give you different perspectives so you can figure out what works for you. That's why it's so important to learn the skill of checking-in with yourself first. If you find yourself regularly turning to friends, TikTok videos, or even ChatGPT, building self-trust is likely a skill that needs some love. 

You can still get advice but you don’t need to outsource the decision. That's why when people work with us either in-person through calls or through the AI Powered Coaching app or programs, our goal isn't to work with you forever. It's to give you the tools and trust to be able to navigate this on your own. But getting that initial support is often what helps people put everythign into motion.

There's a special spring sale for our AI Coaching App. We actually talk about in the episode how you can use this to help you build this self trust through the chat and journaling features (along with audio that guides you). 

Or if you have a specific situation / pattern that keeps repeating and you prefer to talk to a human, like Julie announced last month, she's opening a limited number of spots for 1:1 Clarity Calls. There was some feedback that there weren't enough different time slots that worked with your schedules, so she did add some additional times (and if you really are in a different time zone / really want this help, you can reply to this email and we can see what we can do!)

You can book here: https://calendly.com/juliekrafchick/30-minute-clarity-call 

Happy weekend all. Stayyyy Dateable!

Julie & Yue